So Close…

This morning, as I was beginning to think of what would be relevant to the new year’s wishes I’d like to send out, I was reminded of previous such essays that were often mired with an end-of-year tragedy. There was the Lockerbie plane crash, the earthquake in Bam, the Tsunami, to name just a few tragedies that took place in the very last week of the year. I am sure that if I were to sift through the annals of recent history, there would, sadly, be similar disasters taking place throughout the year, but the last week has different implications. Perhaps because January 1 is in sight, we’re just so close to a new beginning that it feels like we’re holding our breath for this very last stretch… we’re psyching ourselves into a positive disposition, a hopeful fresh start, we’re pushing that barometer as high as we can so that the new year, the new page, the new path can keep us afloat for the 365 days to follow.

So here we were, December 27, and I was silently thinking, with perked ears, that though we were recovering from personal tragedies, this last Monday to Friday was running relatively smoothly with no major turbulence on a global scale. Seemed as if nature and the warmongers had taken a break, and we might be able to usher in the new year with smoothed sheets, a clean slate.

Well… almost. Until news of Benazir Bhutto’s assassination spread. Goodness gracious...
I am not about to compare this incident with others mentioned here in terms of the enormity of casualties, or any other comparisons, for that matter. Frankly, that’s not my point, I’m not keeping count (that would be too depressing). I will, however, compare it to others as a destabilizing force. And in our current day and age, this not only affects friends currently in Pakistan - and I don't want to think of what's going through their minds - but the domino effect on the widespread geo-political web in the region.

Sigh… we were so close… guess we’re going to have to work a little harder to keep that page clean and bright and light…

رحيل

الأولى في ثلاثيناتها والثانية سـبعينيّة
تباين أجيال وتجارب
تسـاوت الأمس برحيلهما

هل اكتفيتما فجأةً من هذه الحياة؟
هل تسـاوت أمامكما الأيام، فانتقيتما هذا كعيدكما الجديد؟
هل وجدتما في آخر أنفاسكما ما يغنيكما عنّا؟

خدّرتنا الصدمة
فنحتار من حقيقة أصواتكما في مسمعنا
نتعامل بحزننا بكتابات، بدموع
بصمت عميق يخفي عنا ضجيج النهار
نغرق بحوارات مسـتمرة معكما
نعتذر، نودّع
نلَملِمكما في قصص لم تُختم
بأخبار لم تُسـمع
بسـلام أخير لم يُرفع
نحضنكما فينا
كي يعيش في غيابكما
ما أهديتمانا في حياتكما

بطلات كنتما في الحياة
وملائكة تبقيا في الممات

وداعاً أيتها الجميلات

Wordplay

Inspired by the dead time provided by a grueling traffic jam…

تعلو قهقهة الرفقة من قرنة المقهى
كشـال حريريّ يحفّ على حدة الحوار
كثيراً كتبنا كي نتفادى الكلام
فيبقى بيننا بريق بسـمات البنات

Sleep

There are documents to read and papers to write,
but all I want to do is sleep.
There are options to consider and decisions to take,
There are phone calls to make and emails to write,
There are presents to buy, and groceries to replenish,
There are clothes to put away and rooms to clean,
but all I want to do right now is sleeeeeep...

So I call an end to my day, finally crawl into bed... and lie wide awake!
Tell me - where's the justice in that??

And so we wait...

The crowds huddle before the high gates. It’s not too cold yet, and they’re willing to stay out there all day; they want to be sure there’s no delay in receiving the news.
“Yes, we know we had promised that a decision would be announced today, but we decided instead to postpone it another week.”
Someone splashes their drink angrily on the ground, a muffled groan rises in another corner, smaller groups quickly huddle to share their analyses of what this could mean.
What do we do now? Can we still put forth our plans for this week, or should we buck the risk and wait as well? Shall we close the schools? Stay out of the city? Delay that bank transfer? Hire the needed staff? Buy our Christmas presents?
It’s just one week, let’s just wait and see. The group disperses grudgingly, contemplating how to sell this decision to the others.
And so we wait.

The scene repeats itself the following week. The crowd is smaller now, and some chat with the security guards to feel out if they know anything. Anxiety is slightly quelled by the reassurance that a decision will certainly be announced today, and separate plans have been made to respond to the finite possibilities. With doors shut tight, the message is relayed through a pitiable clerk.
“Yes, we know we had promised that a decision would be announced today, but we decided instead to postpone it another week.”
Again?!!
But we’ve already closed the schools once, we’ve cancelled our travel plans, we made promises, negotiated deals that allowed for the first delay – what do we do now? The clocks tick louder towards the end of the year and the rest of the world is moving on – why are we standing still?

We have less patience for logical analysis, we have less room for rational thought. This time, we feel hurt and rejected. They have done this to us so many times before. Are our little lives so inconsequential to you that you should disrespect them so? We weren’t fooled into thinking that you actually cared about us, but why do you feel you can insult us like this?
As much as we try, our reactions will be equally irrational. One by one, we will make our plans without you. We will follow others abroad, or shrink into geographic shells, sulking, cutting ourselves off. We will live there like jilted lovers, licking our wounds and healing ourselves by going on with our lives without you.
A country without people, and a people reacting almost childishly to something as grand and visionary as the fate of their country; sunk in their passivity that they are oblivious to their role in affecting a change in path. Perhaps in time they will recognise this and slowly pull themselves into their own country’s canvas. Perhaps in time, those in power will realize that they are standing high on precarious stilts and would be better served to find other ways to build their course to that height. Perhaps in time…

And so we wait…